I used to sit on the fence a lot. It was my favourite seat. It gave me perspective. It gave me options. Sitting on spikes was a small price to pay. But lately, I've been playing on the side where the grass is greener and it is starting to scare me. I can't decide if I'm devouring the green grass or if I'm nurturing it.
I've lost two important people in my life. Betrayal might be too strong a word for it, so let's just say it falls somewhere between that and unfaithfulness. Also, my maid of 24 years recently left the household. The family has been so used to having her around the transition hasn't been easy. But whatever the case, I've been forced off the fence - forced to toughen up or sink in helplessness. I've chosen to be tough.
However, with my new attitude, I can't decide if I'm actually standing up for what I believe in or finding fault in others. Take for example a bus load of people who refuse to move to the back so that others can get in. People can be so insensitive. Why should I have any more tolerance for it? I know I come from a good place when I yell at them (Yes, I did). But it also makes me feel like a monster. What does a person do? I can't decide which is more painful - sitting back on the spikes of the fence or looking in the mirror and seeing a monster. HELP!
Things are better now. I'm able to speak my mind freely without feeling guilty about it and still remain the generous guy that I thought I couldn't be anymore if I decided to be a firmer person. I recently watched "Food Inc" and am reading "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. I recommend both for the new perspectives I've gained. I can't begin to summarize everything about the movie and the book here, but I can share my thoughts.
Most of us have lived our lives in our small bubbles without really being aware of many things. What we don't realize is that more and more we can break out of this bubble, with awareness. Because with that awareness comes empowerment. This day and age has given us the tools to think and act for ourselves. But with it comes a huge responsibility - to ourselves, humanity and the environment. Don't just go with the flow. That's not living life.
Take a step back every once a while. Question things. Where does my food come from? What am I supporting when I buy this food? Am I feeding my body what it really needs? Where does my trash go? How is it affecting the earth? How am I able to buy this item at such a low price? Who else paid for it and how did they pay for it? You'll be surprised how these answers will affect you. I read recently that my favourite actor Jason Scott Lee only spends eight thousand dollars a year and he is totally happy.
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