I used to sit on the fence a lot. It was my favourite seat. It gave me perspective. It gave me options. Sitting on spikes was a small price to pay. But lately, I've been playing on the side where the grass is greener and it is starting to scare me. I can't decide if I'm devouring the green grass or if I'm nurturing it.
I've lost two important people in my life. Betrayal might be too strong a word for it, so let's just say it falls somewhere between that and unfaithfulness. Also, my maid of 24 years recently left the household. The family has been so used to having her around the transition hasn't been easy. But whatever the case, I've been forced off the fence - forced to toughen up or sink in helplessness. I've chosen to be tough.
However, with my new attitude, I can't decide if I'm actually standing up for what I believe in or finding fault in others. Take for example a bus load of people who refuse to move to the back so that others can get in. People can be so insensitive. Why should I have any more tolerance for it? I know I come from a good place when I yell at them (Yes, I did). But it also makes me feel like a monster. What does a person do? I can't decide which is more painful - sitting back on the spikes of the fence or looking in the mirror and seeing a monster. HELP!
I used to sit on the fence a lot. It was my favourite seat. It gave me perspective. It gave me options. Sitting on spikes was a small price to pay. But lately, I've been playing on the side where the grass is greener and it is starting to scare me. I can't decide if I'm devouring the green grass or if I'm nurturing it.
I've lost two important people in my life. Betrayal might be too strong a word for it, so let's just say it falls somewhere between that and unfaithfulness. Also, my maid of 24 years recently left the household. The family has been so used to having her around the transition hasn't been easy. But whatever the case, I've been forced off the fence - forced to toughen up or sink in helplessness. I've chosen to be tough.
However, with my new attitude, I can't decide if I'm actually standing up for what I believe in or finding fault in others. Take for example a bus load of people who refuse to move to the back so that others can get in. People can be so insensitive. Why should I have any more tolerance for it? I know I come from a good place when I yell at them (Yes, I did). But it also makes me feel like a monster. What does a person do? I can't decide which is more painful - sitting back on the spikes of the fence or looking in the mirror and seeing a monster. HELP!
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1 comment:
Good job Dwayne! Glad you are stepping onto the green grass. And the last time I moved to the back of the bus I hit my head...always stick to the front of the bus!
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